rock the boat

 

This month has been a sweet month for team fiercely loved. We are located in Trinidad, Bolivia where the weather is hot and the mosquitos are plenty. We have the pleasure of serving on the Ruth Bell medical missions boat. Yes, a boat. We have become the boats crew for the month; living on it and serving on it by helping with maintenance and upkeep. The boat takes about 10 two week journeys each year where they go to remote villages along the amazon river basin and provide them with doctors and dentists. The boats first trip of the year will be in February so we have been working hard to get the boat ready for its first journey of the year. 

Some of our work has involved scrubbing down the walls and cleaning out the bunkers. My favorite job we have done is cleaning up the bottom deck of the boat. There was a mud build up down in what we call the bat cage. So we cleared out all the trash, removed the floor panels, scooped out the mud, and then power washed it, all with our bat friends flying around. You can probably imagine the screams coming from the bottom deck, mainly from me. 

Since we have been docked for most of the month, we have also gotten the opportunity to build relationships with nearby villages on the port. We have done a few children’s programs where we performed some dances and skits and just hung out and loved on the kids. It has been a sweet mix of manual labor as well as relational ministry.

Boat life is simple and peaceful. Our team has had lots of time to dwell, rest and just be. It’s calm and it’s refreshing. And like the Lord so often does, He has been bringing me to a place of remembrance. He has been reminding me of past things He has spoken to me because my heart needs reminded. 

One morning during my time with Him, He took me back to training camp in August, just 6 weeks before the race started. There was a theme He was giving me during that week. There was an image he used to imprint that theme into my heart. And that was an image of a boat. 

The very first night of training camp, I was sitting in between two strangers. Those strangers just so happened to be Suze and Brook. Little did we know that we would be placed on the same team and a sweet friendship was about to start. Talk about foreshadowing… At the end of the message, we were encouraged to share with the people on either side of us what we were currently struggling with in terms of starting the race. So I shared about the struggles of leaving behind my family and friends and the pain that is associated with that. Suze began to share that she was in that same place but she encouraged me with a passage in scripture that had been bringing her peace through it all. Acts 20. 

In Acts 20 Paul is about to leave the church in Ephesus. He was about to leave all his people that he had spent the last few years of his life with. He was leaving to follow the voice of God calling him to something new. At the end of the chapter, it says that they prayed together, wept together, embraced each other and then it says that they walked him to his boat. That night Suze reminded me that we have very special people in our lives and although the pain of leaving them is great, they are still going to walk us to our boat as we set sail and they will be there waiting for us when we return. That word of encouragement was huge for me during that week and as I prepared to leave home. 

What was just as encouraging was that I was not in that boat alone. I was surrounded by an amazing group of people who were in the same boat as me. I was in that boat with my squad and with my team. And 4 months later, I am still in that boat with them. Now it is a literal boat hehe. But it has been one of the greatest blessings of my life getting to serve with each incredible woman on my team; to have their support, their encouragement, the way they challenge me and point me back to the Father through it all. 

After that night at training camp, God continued to speak to me through the image of a boat. A few mornings later, in my time with Him, He gave me this image of me as a child playing in the pool with my dad. We used to play this game where he would hold me in his arms and pretend that I was a boat. The water would start out calm and the boat would be drifting in the calm waters and then all of a sudden a storm would roll in and the boat would start to get tossed back and forth and just as the boat would start to sink, the water would get calm again and the boat would return to its calm and relaxing float. I remember laughing and laughing as a child playing this game with my dad. The Lord showed me this image as a representation of the season I was heading into. 

Here is my journal entry from that day back in August. 

 

8/11/18

 The Lord says be still, Cam. I see myself floating in water, just resting and drifting. Then I see the father come and hold me in his arms and he starts playing the boat game with me where he pretends I’m a boat on the sea. He begins to move me around, rocking the boat a bit. There are times where the sea is still and we are calm and then there’s a jolt and suddenly a storm appears and He’s rocking the boat. Instantly I knew that’s what the Father was asking me to join Him in. The whole game is meant to be fun and there is joy on my face because even when the boat rocks, I know I’m going to be okay because I am in my Dad’s arms and He’s in control of the boat; where it goes and what it does. This is all meant to be a fun experience for Him and I. It’s when I let the rocking of the boat scare me enough to think Dads no longer in control that it no longer becomes joyful, and I want to stop the game or I start feeling like I’m going to sink. If I remember that I’m in my dad’s arms, everything will be okay. Always. 

Lord, I feel the boat rocking. There’s so much that feels unstable about where I’m at in life and what you’re doing. But you’re my dad and I’m safe in your arms. And that’s all I need to know to be convinced that I’m going to be alright. I love you. 

 

And now, going on 5 months later, the Lord brought me back to that image to remind me of this promise; He is still in control of the boat no matter how hard it rocks. Since the start of the race I have felt the boat rocking in more ways than one. I feel it rock when I look around me and all I see are heavy hearts. I feel it rock when the Father reveals areas of my life that He wants to refine and strip away. I feel it rock each time I am reminded I can never be perfect even though I try so hard to be. I feel it rock when I have to say goodbye to each country and the beautiful people I have come to love in each them. I feel it rock every time I am reminded of those back home I love and miss so much.

At the beginning of the month, the boat rocked hard. We found out that at the end of this month, squad wide team changes will be happening. This means that team Fiercely Loved will becoming to an end, the 6 of us will be separating and we will each step into new teams with other squad mates. Although this is an exciting and fun transition, we are all sad to leave the family that has been growing and developing over the last 4 months. These girls are my sisters and when I think about separating from them, the boat rocks. Hard. 

But the Lord has so gently and sweetly reminded me by being physically being on a boat, that He is the captain of my boat and I am resting in His arms through it all. He is in control of every twist and turn. I have the choice of how I am going to react each time I feel a jolt. Am I going to act in fear or frustration; desiring to remain in comfortable and clear waters? Or am I going to accept that God is in control and this is all a part of the adventure I am on with Him? I think its much more fun to choose the latter. 

I am thankful for a Father who loves to take his children on fun adventures. I am ready for the fun an exciting season that is ahead, despite the rocking of the boat I may feel now. I am reminded that all of this is for the joy of experiencing more with Him.