tested and tried

For the last several years, on my birthday, I have cracked open the Psalms and flipped through the pages until it lands on the Psalm of the age I am turning on that day. I read the Psalm, pray over my next year and ask the Lord if there are any themes in the Psalm that pertain to the next year of my life. 

In May I turned 26 and as I read the 26th Psalm, my eyes gravitated towards these verses.

Test me, Lord, and try me,

    examine my heart and my mind;

for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love

    and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.

Psalm 26: 2-3

David is asking the Lord to test him and try him because he was confident that he had been mindful of God’s love and in reliance on his faithfulness. David was not asking God to test his strength, his nobility, his power, or his success as a king. He was asking God to test him by the standards of mindfulness of the Lord’s love and living in reliance on His faithfulness; that was success in David’s eyes. That is powerful. When it is so easy for me to gage success in other ways, I want to gage success as these standards; Intimacy with God and dependence on God. 

Over the last 6 months in being 26, I have often come back to those verses. I have been praying that the Lord would test and try me. I have been asking God to help me live mindful of his love and in reliance of his faithfulness. 

…. PEOPLE!!! When you pray prayers, God answers. 

I have been tested. I have been tried. I have found the last 3 months to be very difficult. At times, I have found myself overwhelmed by change, by the pressure I feel to lead God’s people, by the ever increasing task list and the seemingly lack of time I have to check things off of it. I am learning how to ask for help, from those around me but especially from the Lord. I am not meant to do it through my own strength, but from reliance on his faithfulness and mindfulness of his great love. 

The past few months have been a lot. At times I have questioned if I am capable of holding this sort of position. I have been tested and tried. But when I close my eyes, and look back, I really wouldn’t want it any other way. I get to be a part of bringing Kingdom to earth. God has called me to this and I can be confident in that. I get to lean closer in trust and dependence on my Savior and Lord. What a life!

Are you feeling tired? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Tested and tried? I want to encourage you to lean deeper into the Lord. Let this be a moment where you are drawn deeper into his love, his power, his strength, his faithfulness. 

I am praying that as you read this, you are encouraged. If you find yourself in a season of being tested and tried, you are right where you need to be. I pray that you would lean a little deeper into the unfailing love of God and rely a little heavier on his great faithfulness. You are chosen. You are worthy. You are loved.

To God be the Glory,

Cam