In the Clouds

On 5/9/22 I wrote:

Of the last 36 hours, I have spent 23 of them above the clouds. There has always been something about being 30,000 ft up that gives me fresh perspective and a sense of closeness with the Father. I look out over the endless horizon with nothing blocking the view and nothing else to steal my attention. It feels like freedom. It feels like heaven.  

As I left the states to head to Africa, it was rainy and dreary outside and the sky was covered in gray clouds. The plane took off and the turbulence was heavy as we rode through the clouds. I sat there a bit nauseous and thought to myself “just a couple more minutes and we will be above the clouds and it will be smooth up there.” The thought immediately felt profound and I knew God was trying to speak something to me through it. 

I pondered the thought that life and our journey with God can feel a lot like this at times.There are seasons where it rains and we are on the ground looking up at the thick gray clouds that cover us. Life just feels dreary and heavy; not a lot of sunshine and not a lot of hope. Then there are times where we are actually in the clouds and we can’t see anything but the chaos and confusion that surrounds us. Sick from the constant tossing back and forth we find ourselves in, we wait for clarity. Then there are seasons where God takes us higher; where we are positioned above the dread and dismay and we see nothing but the endless clear blue skies. I found it so fascinating that at the same moment, all three environments were still very much active and present; the rain, the clouds and the clearing. But, in that particular moment, the clouds and the rain were beneath my feet. God brought me higher. 

Then I thought of one of my favorite passages of scripture. It is a passage I often write and talk about.

Isaiah 55: 8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

God’s perspective is one that is above the clouds. It’s higher than what I can see with my own eyes. It takes faith when I am beneath the clouds or in the clouds to grab a hold of his perspective and trust that he is working and he is doing something beyond what I can see. That is faith. Over the course of the last year I have caught myself hyper-focused on what I see directly in front of me, unable to look higher at what God was saying or doing. I was stuck looking at the clouds and letting those clouds dictate my thoughts and my actions or, at times, even my beliefs about who God is. 

I am reminded of a passage out of ‘My Utmost for His Highest’ by Oswald Chambers. 

“In the Bible clouds are always associated with God. Clouds are the sorrows, sufferings, or providential circumstances, within or without our personal lives, which actually seem to contradict the sovereignty of God. Yet it is through these very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith…There is a connection between the strange providential circumstances allowed by God and what we know of Him, and we have to learn to interpret the mysteries of life in the light of our knowledge of God. Until we can come face-to-face with the deepest, darkest fact of life without damaging our view of God’s character, we do not yet know Him.”

This is so convicting! How often I have let the circumstances in my life dictate who God is instead of letting the God that I know help me interpret my circumstances. God, help my unbelief. God, give me your perspective when I am surrounded and I cannot see. God, guide me through the clouds and bring me higher. 

And then there is God. He knows how we get when we are in the rain or in the clouds. He knows our tendencies. And he is patient and waits for us. He waits for us to stop the temper tantrum we so often throw and simply look to Him. Not only that, but he uses the clouds in our lives to bring the rain and he uses the rain to water the seeds that have been planted and he uses the seeds to bring about the fruit and he uses the fruit to nourish ourselves and those around us. He makes all things beautiful. 

Look at the rest of the passage in Isaiah 55, continuing on in verses 10-11.

“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

The same clouds that would appear to be distracting us or the same rain that seems to weigh us down are the very clouds and rain God uses to accomplish his purpose in and through us. How reassuring that is to know that God is truly causing all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) 

If you are in a season of heavy rain or if you are walking through the thickest clouds, my prayer for you is that you would simply turn your gaze to Him. I pray that He would take you higher into a heavenly perspective. I pray you would cling to the things you know to be true about His nature and let Him help you interpret what’s in front of you instead of what’s in front of you interpreting who He is. And if and when no explanation can be found for the circumstances that surround you, I pray you wait and trust that God will somehow, in some way, use it all for his glory and for your good. Amen. 

The real kicker? As I sat 30,000 ft up pondering all these things, this is what God showed me. Thanks, God. Take me higher. 

In other news… Here are some updates on me if you would like to know how to pray for me!

I just got back from my last on the field debrief with k-squad. The year is winding down and they only have 5 more weeks before they are done with their race. I feel nostalgic, reflective, excited, sad, happy and all the other emotions one could feel when another chapter is coming to a close. Life in Gainesville is sweeter than ever. I love the life I have here. It truly feels like home. I am looking at either renewing my lease at my current home or finding a new place to live come August. I am going to be an aunt to a little boy coming in July. Get ready for a fun life, Decklan Ray. My birthday is coming up at the end of the month… 27. Woah.  

Thank you for reading this far and for supporting my ministry with the world race and my life as Cami. I am still looking for people to join my support team. If you would like to partner with me financially on a monthly basis or if you simply want to connect and learn more about what I am doing, I would love to meet with you. Please email me at [email protected] or shoot me a message!  

Many blessings, 

Cami