ascend

A few weeks ago I celebrated my 24th birthday. It was a day full of laughter, surprises, adventures and so much joy. I felt so loved by those far from me back in the states as well as my family here with me in the Republic of Georgia.

I started the day off getting coffee with my squad mentor Fran. She just so happened to be in town because debrief had just ended, which was a birthday gift in itself. As we sat over a cup of coffee, she asked me what my word for this next year of my life is. Without hesitation, the word ascend broke through my lips.

Earlier that morning in my time with the Lord I thanked him for 23 and was praying over 24. I told him that all I wanted this year was more of him. “More God, more” was my prayer. God took me to Psalm 24 and told me this would be my anthem for the year. As I read, he began to break down different parts of this Psalm that applied to different parts of my life. But what stood out the most was verse 3 and 4.

“Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god.”

Upon reading that I felt him encourage me that this would be a year of experiencing new heights with him, seeing more of him, and going higher. So when the word ascend was my answer to Fran, I wasn’t all that surprised.

In the days following my birthday, I got a series of visions of me hiking up this mountain, ascending the mountain of the Lord. God reminded me that in order to make the climb up, I need to get rid of some unnecessary baggage and gear I’m carrying that isn’t needed to climb up. I need to drop some things in order to make the trek easier. On the race, I have one large pack that’s on me to carry from country to country. With that, I have quickly learned the art of dropping things. Do I really need that 4th t-shirt? Do I need 2 pairs of jeans? Do I really need that hammock that I swore I’d use every day when I was packing for this trip? The answer is no. Because I’ve been able to experience the race, I know what I need, I know what’s not necessary to carry, and I know that dropping weight is more important than holding on to things I have no need for. The same is true for my ascension up the mountain of the Lord. God is trying to save me some pain by asking me to drop the things he knows I won’t need for both the hike up, and the experience at the top.

Fast forward to the beginning of the week. Our team has been renting an apartment in Tbilisi doing ministry here in the city for the month. But our airbnb host booked our apartment for 2 days in the middle of the month. Knowing this ahead of time, we had been looking to move apartments and find other lodging in the city. As we looked for other places to stay, nothing seemed to be in budget or be available during the dates we needed. One closed door after another, we agreed that maybe this was Holy Spirit wanting us to go to another town. So we prayed, and God moved us from a giant city of 1 million to a small mountain town of 7,000. Within 2 days, we were in a van on our way to Kazbegi, located right on the Russian border. We felt led to go there for a few days to pass out some Russian bibles given to us by a man we met in Tbilisi, pray over the town, and evangelize to traveling tourists and fellow hikers.

As we traveled, we were surrounded by breathtaking snow capped mountains. The next morning, we woke up early and set out on the trek up the mountain. At first, we started off together as a team but as the hike went on, we started walking at different paces and separated. I reached a point where I was walking alone. Just me and the path. I had my head down, looking at each step I took to be sure I didn’t slip. All I could hear was my heavy breathing and the sound of my heartbeat in the back of my head. I was booking it up the side of the mountain not focused on anything but the next step. Finally, what felt like an audible voice said “stop.” I stopped. “Stop. Close your eyes. Listen.” I stopped, closed my eyes and listened. As my breathing slowed down, I began to hear other things. I heard the wind whistling through the grass, bringing a soothing chill to my skin. I heard the goats on the pasture as they grazed. I heard the bees buzzing and the birds chirping. I heard the sound of rushing waters from the river below. I still heard my breathing and my heart beat but now it seemed as if it was in tune, singing along with the rest of creation. “Open your eyes.” I opened my eyes. I saw the most beautiful wildflowers gracing the side of the green pastures of the mountain next to me. I saw pine trees. I saw blue skies and bright clouds. I saw the sun shining. I saw mountains. I saw valleys. “Look down.” I looked down at my feet and a beautiful orange butterfly was perched on my foot. “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news.”

Brought to tears, I couldn’t help but lift my hands, worshipping my creator with the rest of creation. Instead of focusing on how fast I could make it up the mountain so I can see God at the top, I picked my head up to see God all around me in that very moment. That’s when it hit me. This is ascension. The verse doesn’t say, “who may summit the mountain of the Lord?” It says, “Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord.” If ascend is my word for the year and all I want is more of God, then this is good news because it doesn’t mean I get more of God once I reach the top, it means I get more of God right now. The beauty is in the trek upwards. There’s joy to be found even in the sweat, the heavy breathing, the exhaustion. The views at the top are that much more beautiful because of the hike it took to get there and if we pick our heads up and look around, we can see the beauty in the ascent, not just the summit. Shoot, I’m preaching now. 

When I finally did reach the top, the views were absolutely incredible and some that I will never forget. We met and talked with tourists, passed out bibles, and made some great connections with people who hopefully, we can meet up with again back in Tbilisi. Our team did bible study and worshipped together. God sure was there at the top of that mountain, but he was also in the climb, and I know full well he’s in the valley too.

I want to end with the lyrics from a song that has been wrecking me lately, one of the songs I shouted from the top of that mountain. Highlands (Song of Ascent) by Hillsong.

O how high would I climb mountains

If the mountains were where You hide

O how far I’d scale the valleys

If You graced the other side

In the highlands and the heartache

You’re neither more or less inclined

I would search and stop at nothing

You’re just not that hard to find

So I will praise You on the mountain

And I will praise You when the mountain’s in my way

You’re the summit where my feet are

So I will praise You in the valleys all the same

No less God within the shadows

No less faithful when the night leads me astray

You’re the heaven where my heart is

In the highlands and the heartache all the same

Whatever I walk through

Wherever I am

Your Name can move mountains

Wherever I stand

And if ever I walk through

The valley of death

I’ll sing through the shadows

My song of ascent