the road between two homes.

I-76 connecting Youngstown and Akron, the road between two of some of my favorite places in the world. I’ve made this drive countless times over the last 6 years and it’s become one of my most cherished things. It’s a time and place where I’m alone. Sometimes I roll the windows down and turn the music up and just jam. Sometimes I pray. Sometimes I worship. Sometimes I drive in silence, clear my head and refocus my attention on the important things. No matter which direction I’m headed, I know there’s something special waiting for me there. It’s a real treat for me and it was one of the things I was most excited to get back to while on the field. 

I was recently making that drive and it hit me. Here I am, 2 weeks home from the race and feeling like my heart is making its way down an I-76 kind of drive, a road between two homes.

The race was and still is home to me. It was the catalyst God used to bring life to parts of my heart that were not yet awakened. Each country was home. I found safety in the process, the people and the places I went. It holds a piece of my heart nothing and no one ever has. It’s a dream of mine to one day serve this organization again. The race will always be home to me. 

And while I’m physically back in the states, back home, part of me feels like I’m not fully here yet. I’m moving towards re-entry, yet there’s still so much that seems foreign to me here. It’s home and it will always be home, but I’m learning what life should look like coming back to a familiar place, totally changed. I’m not who I was when I left. I’m learning how to be this new me, in the same familiar settings, culture, norms and surroundings I’ve always known. 

So here I am, in the transition, finding my way down the road between two homes. I’m not going to lie, it’s been a challenge. Although there’s people who love me and support me all around, sometimes I feel alone. That’s a normal feeling, I’ve been told. But if this season is anything like my I-76 drive, I know that though I may seem alone, God is always present. I know that there is something very good waiting for me at the end. I know that this can be a time where I rest, I reflect, I clear my mind, I refocus my attention and I worship my Creator like never before. 

There’s a line from a song that’s been my anthem the past few months. It says,  “In the process, in the waiting, you’re making melodies over me. And your presence is the promise for I am a pilgrim on a journey.”  

Here’s to long drives and open roads. Here’s to transitions and the beautiful mess they can be. Here’s to my family and friends who have been rock solid for me. Here’s to my God, my best friend, for being the finest road trip pal anyone could ever have.